How To Make a Peanut Butter and jelly Sandwich

Warning: the following is not for those allergic to peanuts, jelly/jam, bread, or plates. If you are allergic to any of this stuff then this is not for you. If the end results of this sandwich are not as they should be then you can not sue me, Ilana Boland, and you should just get over it. When the following says ‘anything’ it does not include lamps, which can be very poisonous to eat.

J How to Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly J

Sandwich

By: Ilana Boland

Is your stomach growling like an angry lion? If it is, don’t worry. There are many ways to solve your hunger: maybe a pizza, or a cake, or maybe a sandwich. If you pick sandwich, then I know the perfect sandwich for you. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich! (PBJ for short) This blend of fruity, peanut goodness just might be perfect for you. Of course, there are some things you will need before you can make one.

What you will need:

1.     A knife, spoon, fork, hand, chair, or basically anything capable of spreading stuff. (Knifes work best for even sides and even amounts. That way no side is better than the other and the sides won’t get jealous of each other.)

2.     Bread. Pre-sliced bread is easiest to work with.  (It doesn’t matter how pretty it looks, bread with green stuff or any colors other then the bread color is not sanitary to be eating.)

3.     Peanut butter. Chunky or smooth can be used to your liking. (If you don’t like peanut butter then you will not like this sandwich and you should stop what you are doing immediately.)

4.     Jelly/jam. Any flavor can be used.

Now that you know what you will need, there are a few steps you will need to follow in order to complete the wondrous sandwich.

What to do:

1.     Put one slice of not green bread on a plate, if you do not have a plate (which you really should have at least one), you may substitute for napkins, a table, etc., and then put other slice next to it.

2.     Spread peanut butter on the top side of one slice of bread, and jam of your choice on top side of the other slice of bread. Warning: jelly/jam is a very flavorful item, don’t over do it.

3.     Take one of the slices, and put it face down on the other slice so that the peanut butter and jelly stick together. If they do not stick then you probably over did it on the jelly, which means you failed to read step 2 and you should stop skipping steps because you’ve just been caught.

Once you have followed the steps, here are just a few of the things you can do with it next:

·         Eat it

·         Give it to a friend

·         Give it to an enemy

·         Throw it at an enemy

·         give it to an adult (parent, teacher)

·         give it to a cat

·         give it to a dog

·         do NOT give it to a parakeet

·         give it to a stranger

Those who dare say this sandwich is too easy and even boring may want to add or replace jelly for the following:

·         bananas

·         nutella

·         celery

·         honey

·         apples

·         Cheese

·         lunch meat

·         a bad report card

·         ANYTHING

I hope you have learned something new and I hope I have satisfied your hunger (probably not). Next time you’re hungry you will know just how to tame the wild lion inside you. (And stop skipping steps!!!)